The Next Step

Posted: May 28, 2010 in God, Life, overcoming, thoughts

I’m not perfect in any way. I’m human and I have shortcomings, more than I’d hoped for. Today I was sitting in the quiet of my room reflecting on this past week and even last week. I thought about all the events that took place, the good and the not so good ones.

It was during this time of reflection when I realized something. I fall extremely short of the person I know I’m supposed to be in Christ throughout the week. I somehow, whether it’s hanging out with the wrong people or even something as simple as listening to the wrong music, lose track of myself. It’s so easy to get caught up in the events of the world and lose sight of God in all of it. I know God doesn’t expect me to be this picture perfect girl, yet I know I can do better than what I’m doing now.

This past Sunday I surrendered my life to God, and actually allowed Him to have CONTROL of all the areas of my life I had yet to surrender to Him. Monday going into work I felt new. I was never that happy going to work, and to be honest it probably freaked some of my co workers out a little. I had this lightness about me and I was not ashamed to be happy or what not.

It is funny how all of this works though. I realized today as I thought about it, that my old self is still inside me somewhere. I began cursing a little again at work when things angered me. I didn’t think twice about it as the words spewed out of my mouth, yet I feel regretful for it now. The people I work with know I am  a Christian, and I wonder what they must think as I walk around there, mad and swearing.

It says in the bible somewhere “they will know us for our love for one another”. Yet I have a hard time showing love sometimes. I know I must look like a total hypocrite to them.

“oh you’re supposed to be a good little Christian girl huh?”
“You’re such a different type of Christian than I’ve ever talked to. You’re not throwing the Bible in my face or saying ‘God this and God that'”

I have things like this said to me constantly. My response?
“I’m not the type of person you want to use to judge my religion. I’m not really that great of an example”

It’s the truth. I fall short of being who I need to be. I SHOULD be an example, I should be a light to these people. Yet I come across more like a hypocrite.

I’m trying my hardest to change this. It’s a step in progress God has me going through. Not swearing, not getting involved in stupid gossip at work, not siding with the world instead of Jesus Christ.

That’s the place I’m now in. Striving forward to not be ashamed of the gospel. To not take sides with the world, when it seems easier instead of sticking with God.

James 4:4

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.


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