Hiding Behind Humor.

Posted: March 29, 2010 in God, Life, overcoming, thoughts

If you know me, even if it’s just a little bit, you know that I love crackin’ jokes. Sometimes it’s at the expense of others and sometimes it’s at myself. It’s so easy to lighten the mood of a room by a witty remark or something of that nature. It really wasn’t until of two Tuesdays ago that I came to realize I use humor as a defense mechanism. There’s a lot of things emotionally that God has been surfacing in me, that I am scared to deal with lately. I’m sort of becoming emotionally drained from this stuff floating around in my head 24/7 and it tends to show a lot when people are around me.

I’m also not the type of person to let people in on my issues, which God is also strongly working on in me as well! (oh yeah, it’s fun stuff!) I have people coming up to me at Church asking if I’m alright, or this and that, and what is the FIRST thing I do? I crack a joke. I flash my big old fake smile, which as often as I use it I still SUCK at convincing people it’s real.

Yet like I said, it wasn’t until two weeks ago that I realized all of this was true. I had a friend of mine come up to me during worship before practice got started and spoke a word over me. They said more but the point I want to cover is about the humor. They said that I am a very humorous person, yet I hide a lot of pain behind my jokes. I joke in order to mask the things I’m feeling. I sat there as they spoke this word over me, and I realized that it was the 100% truth.

Humor is such an amazing thing, yet don’t let it be your defense mechanism. If you’re facing giants that seem so large you can’t defeat them, don’t hide your pain with a joke. Expose what it is you’re dealing with, don’t hide behind the humor.


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