Rays Of Hope.

Posted: December 15, 2009 in Uncategorized

The sun is shining through my window at this very moment. I don’t know why but every time I watch it set on days like this, it always brings back the good memories of my life. I look at sun sets now as Gods way of telling us that everything is going to be alright in our lives.

Most of the memories that return to me are from the happiest days of my life. Days where my best friend Alicia and I would just sit in my room or her room and listen to music. Music and each others company saved us at those times in our life. I could talk to her and she could talk to me. Open and real conversations. I didn’t have to place walls up with her or tell her I was just tired when really I was struggling. I miss her a lot and when I watch the sun set her face, voice and memories of the times we spent together all come back.

The first time I drank any form of alcohol was with her, down in her grandma’s basement one day after school. I went to my first drive in movie with her and her family. Or that summer day we all went up to a camping ground and spent the day hiking and just having a great time. I spent almost every day with her. And like a sun after it sets, she too is now gone.

As much as I miss her, when I think of our friendship, I never find myself thinking of the bad moments between us. When it all went downhill. I just focus on those days when her love and friendship gave me the hope I needed to survive. So when I watch sunsets now, that’s the only emotion that fills my mind; hope.

I think it’s Gods way of showing me hope still in my times of hopelessness. That even though things are still difficult, that even though I have a majority of my days not wanting to get out of bed and face the world, there is a time coming for peace and joy and hope of a bright happy future in my life. Sunsets are His way of saying Everything is going to be alright Jessica. Trust me.

And that’s what I think I’ll do. Trust in Him.

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