Giving Me A Voice

Posted: December 2, 2009 in Uncategorized

I have a lot of time throughout the duration of my days to just let my mind go wander off, being as I work by myself. Sometimes I find myself thinking about a lot of junk that has the ability to get me depressed and what not.

Today was one of those days where my mind was just off in a million different directions, thinking about pretty much every crap situation I’ve been in throughout the past 11 months. My old negative mind frame came back into play too. Then for some reason I started to just talk to God. I started asking Him why if I gave Him control of my life, why I was still struggling. Why I’ve been slipping back into some bad habits that I had thought I moved on from. Needless to say I began getting overwhelmed by all these thoughts flying around my head.

Not even ten minutes later I was no longer focused on that conversation I just tried to have with God. I gave up, after I told Him how much I was hurting and hearing nothing in return to that. I was just cleaning, doing my job.

God did answer though, even though it didn’t seem immediate to me. I started to feel like, maybe all these things I went through and are still going through, isn’t even for me. Maybe I am going through these things for somebody else, someone I have yet to meet.

I think I said it before that I heard God tell me that my testimony is going to help so many people. It is now starting to make a little more sense. Today when I got home I popped in the CD of my prophecy, from when I became a member of the church. The woman on the CD said she see’s me speaking infront of womans groups, talking about how God took me from point A to where I am now. How He came into my life and changed it.

Before listening to this, I totally forgot that those words were even spoken over me. There’s a book out called “Purpose For The Pain”, by Renee Yohe (the influence behind the organization, To Write Love On Her Arms). I always liked the title of that book. It just sounded so deep and personal.

God had a purpose for everything I am going through or had gone through. Realizing that God had this planned out for the use of using my own voice and testimony to set people free is just so liberating. It gives me hope and a sense of purpose and direction.

God is so good!!

  1. Joe says:

    Keep up the good work … this is some good stuff.

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